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“The satisfaction of love is not in the feeling itself, but in the joy that feeling brings. Love gives joy” Paramahasa Yogananda

We yearn for love, we search for love, and when a relationship ends we feel we have lost our joy, our love, our everything forgetting that joy is around us and in us.  Too often we confuse passion with love.  We may have passion with another without love and love without passion and when we combine the two it is like fireworks.  When real fireworks end we will remember them as spectacular.  We will recall and recount the event to others with joy and awe. However, when the fireworks from a relationship dwindle and die we often become bitter and angry; we choose not to remember what was spectacular, what filled us with joy. We will tell others how awful the person was, what they did, we will dwell in our intense dislike for them.  Does this serve us well?  No.  We do it because the hurt is overwhelming and we do not see how living the pain over and over again continues to hurt us.  

What happens when instead we make a choice to hold on to the memories that made us smile, remembering why we once loved them and choose to continue to love them as a fellow human being, a soul we connected with; we then open ourselves to receive new love.  We open ourselves to feel joy.  There were traits we liked about the other person. If there were not, then we must ask ourselves, what was it that drew us to them?  This introspection allows us to grow and then, if nothing else, we can appreciate the relationship for the growth it provided.

I am not saying that you still spend time with that person, unless that is what you choose.  However as Buddha said; “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else.  You are the one who gets hurt.”  Anger, bitterness, and revenge will not serve you, nor will it hurt them.  Our relationships mirror our lives.  When we look into our soul, what do we see?  What do we feel?  What is your relationship with you?  Start caring about you.  Give yourself love, find joy in the simple things; flowers, music.  Connect with your Spirit and you will connect with you.  Then you will be open to receive and give love.  Then you will find joy and love in your heart, your soul, and your life.

Carolyn Brown

Website www.youcelebrateyou.com

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Carolyn Brown is a certified hypnotherapist and life coach whose mission is to help others create a life of joy.  Carolyn discovered after 27 years of marriage that her husband was gay and turned this despair into inspiration and healing. Carolyn teaches how to refrain from dwelling on our own hurt, to turn the focus from our broken relationships to ourselves, and thus to a new future.

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